


The Bag

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-07
Updated: 2004-09-07
Packaged: 2018-10-07 03:18:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10351164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Warnings: Just really weird.  Strange idea stuck and I wrote.Spoilers: "Bane"Season: SecondSummary: When Jack looks for a little help moving something, he might justget more than he needs.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction - The Bag

##  The Bag

##### Written by OXBastetXO   
Comments? Write to us at OXBastetXO@aol.com

  * WARNINGS: Just really weird. Strange idea stuck and I wrote. 
  * SPOILERS: Bane 
  * SEASON: Second 
  * SUMMARY: When Jack looks for a little help moving something, he might just get more than he needs. 
  * G [Hu] 



* * *

"Hi, Jack. What's in the trunk?" 

"Oh, hi. Trunk? Oh, this trunk." 

"Yeah, the trunk of the jeep you're in." 

"Oh, this. Um, actually could you give me a hand with this?" 

"Sure. Whoa! That isn't what I think it is, is it?" 

"It's a body bag." 

"Ok, it what I thought it was. What is a body bag doing in your trunk?" 

"It's getting out of my trunk and why don't just you announce it on the PA system while you're at it." 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." 

"Ugh, just don't drop it." 

"Hm.....what's in here?" 

"It's a body bag, what do you think?" 

"Oh, um...yeah.....Who?" 

"For crying out loud, Daniel. Maybourne, ok?" 

"MAYBOURNE?" 

"Daniel!!!" 

"Oh, yeah....sorry. Um....why?" 

"Daniel, just shut up and help me with this." 

"Hi, Daniel. Hi, Colonel. What's in the bag?" 

"Uh.....well.....um.....Jack." 

"Oh, will you people....for crying out loud." 

"Sir, that's a body bag." 

"Sam...um...it's Maybourne." 

"WHAT? Sir, uh...Daniel, what did you just say?" 

"Sam, just forget about it." 

"Sir, I know Teal'c didn't like him that much but he didn't...you know...did he?" 

"I did not do what, Captain Carter?" 

"Oh, Teal'c...uh...um...you didn't..that is...." 

"Captain, he did not." 

"May I ask what is in the bag?" 

"Jack, I think I'm going to be sick." 

"For crying out loud, Daniel!" 

"Are you ill, Daniel Jackson?" 

"Sir, you didn't...did you?" 

"I can't believe we are just dragging around Maybourne's body in a bag. I mean, it is a body bag and all, but still." 

"Daniel, get a grip." 

"Maybourne's deceased body is in the bag? Ah." 

"That's all you got to say Teal'c? 'Ah.'" 

"I believe the phrase is, 'It could not have happened to a nicer man.'" 

"TEAL'C!!!" 

"Yes, Captain Carter?" 

"I can't believe you just said that!" 

"Oh, I AM going to be sick." 

"Daniel! Would you just...not in the jeep!" 

"Colonel O'Neill! There you are." 

"Doctor Frazier." 

"Good, you have it. Could you drop that off in the infirmary for me if you have time?" 

"Janet! Not, you too?" 

"What is going on here. Sam, what are you talking about?" 

"I can't believe this. I know you guys didn't like the man. Hey, I didn't like him either, but....this!" 

"Oh......" 

"Is Daniel ok?" 

"Janet..just...never mind." 

"Ok, I'll...oh...Any way. Colonel, thank you for offering to bring my 'Rescue Annie' over here from the hospital. I'll see the rest of you later. Daniel, stop by the infirmary." 

"Doctor Frazier, what is a 'Rescue Annie.'" 

"It's a dummy that is used to practice CPR on, Teal'c." 

"Ah." 

"Colonel?" 

"Jack?" 

"Yeah, that's what's in the bag. What did you guys think? Seriously, people. You wouldn't think I would do a thing like that. Would you?" 

"I'm not speaking to you, Jack." 

"Colonel, never mind." 

"Ah." 

"For crying out loud! Hey! Isn't someone going to help me with this thing? Ah..forget it!" 

_  
_

*fin* 

  


* * *

  


>   
>  Author note: I got the idea from the old saying, "Friends help you move,   
> REAL friends help my move bodies."  
> 

* * *

>   
>  © July 2004 Showtime and MGM/UA owns Stargate: SG-1 and all there in. I'm just borrowing   
> them for a bit, and I promise to give them right back when I'm done. Well, most   
> of them, I might just keep Jack and Daniel for a bit longer.

* * *

  



End file.
